how can u be prego again
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
