Can Purell be used as lube?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
