When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize