just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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