god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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