Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
