So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
