Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
