Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
