he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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