i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
