im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
