well you can't waste a boner
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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