he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
