i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
