I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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