That's intense
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
