At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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