Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
