I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
