Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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