Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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