They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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