I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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