if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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