you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
