Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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