she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
