i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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