A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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