i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
