Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
