Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)

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(407): View more from Florida

She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.

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(530): View more from California

that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"

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(423): View more from Tennessee

You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"

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