U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
