omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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