Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
