Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
