The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
