Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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