we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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