6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
