omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
