So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
