I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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