pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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