Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
