addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize