hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We talked him into tasing himself.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
