We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
