oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Randomize
