what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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