Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
