I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
