come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize