i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize