so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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