just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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